Another year and another commercialised made up holiday.
Whether you love celebrating Valentine's Day or not you can admit, there is something different about it compared to all the other similar holidays. That is, it has a tendency to make many people all around the world use it as a way of defining their worthiness or lovability to themselves and others.
The marketing hype has you believe that red is the theme of the day along with roses, lingerie and a romantic evening at an expensive restaurant or whatever similar message may be pumped out at the time.
So if you are in a relationship and you don't receive that experience some people start to question and doubt their relationship and the love their partner has for them. While others may look at what their friends or colleagues experience of the day and compare whether theirs was better or not. Ultimately, they diminish the experience they have on the day and aren't really present in the moment fully enjoying it.
And, for those who may be single on the day it may leave some of them feeling sad, depressed and lonely as they are reminded by the constant messages that they don't have someone to celebrate the day or shower them with gifts. For some, they start to diminish their self worth and love for themselves.
What's the problem?
Well for a start and probably the most defining part to this all is that we all love different things.
If you understand love languages then not everyone feels loved by their partner when they are showered by gifts. They may rather quality time with them, words of affirmation, acts of service or physical touch. Whilst some of the other love languages may also be expressed on Valentine's Day, it can place a lot of pressure on the relationship to have it all perfect on one day of the year.
The other thing is that we all different personal values and goals. For someone who has a personal value of saving money for a deposit on a house who then sees their partner spending hundreds of dollars on one day of the year could have the reverse effect causing arguments, disappointment and a lack of feeling on the same page.
show yourself some love
Valentine's Day doesn't have to be about showing your love to others, it can be about showing yourself some love. Because, if you don't know how to love yourself, how can you truely love another person?
Maybe it is allowing yourself the time to do nothing and rest, or the time to do something you love but haven't done in a long time, maybe it is about forgiving yourself for something you have been holding onto. Whatever it is, self love and self care are powerful tools for your overall health and wellbeing.
Whether you are in a relationship or not we all need to fill up our cups in order to be able to give to others. So if you haven't been allowing yourself the time and space to really give yourself what you need then there is no better time than NOW!
Not in a relationship?
Well that's ok too!
Happiness is the most important thing and you don't have to be in a relationship to be happy and you don't have to be in a relationship to celebrate Valentine's Day.
Grab your fave gal or guy pal(s) and do something together and celebrate Galentine's or Guylentines or Happytines Day. Who says you have to sit at home and let all the couples have fun!?
The ball is in your court now and you get to choose how you spend your Valentine's or Happytine's Day. Here are some suggestions if you are looking to redefine your Valentine's Day:
1. Focus on Self Love & Care
We can often be our harshest critic so remember to be kind to yourself. Create boundaries for yourself and share them with those in your life so they can support you. Know that you are worthy with or without a partner and it first starts and always ends with the way you treat yourself.
2. Change the Meaning
Change what the day means for you and instead of having others defining one day of the year for you, choose to define it in a way that has meaning to you. Maybe you celebrate and acknowledge the day and maybe you don't because you express love everyday of the year, not just on one day only!
3. Talk About It
Before the day rolls around, if you have a partner discuss with them what the day means for you and ask what it means for them. Choose to create the day together, or even apart so you are both are heard, acknowledged and feel loved.
So I would love to know how you plan to celebrate Valentine's Day and will it be any different this year round?