Do you ever reflect on where you are currently in life and where you want to be?
Often when a new year comes around or its my birthday (next month), I reflect on the past year and what it is I want to create for the new year.
Feeling Lost
Over the past number of weeks and months I have been really unsettled and had a sense of feeling lost. I realised that I have never felt more lost now in my life than ever before.
As a result I’ve been reflecting on many aspects of my life and assessing where I am and where I thought I would be.
Hello disappointment!!!
Comparisonitis
Through my reflection, I noticed that I was feeling stuck in some areas of my life, I was unclear on the direction forward and had a sense of not achieving goals I thought I would have by now.
I had to start to question was I comparing myself to:
- Others who had achieved the goals I wanted to,
- Societal expectations of what we “should” achieve by certain (insert relevancy to you),
- Expectations of myself that I held onto from when I was younger when my life and goals were different, and all the things that happened in between was unknown at that time, OR
- Likely a combination of all the above.
Often we are comparing ourselves more to others and expectations others hold of us than we are to the person who we were yesterday.
So often it starts with us needing to forgive ourselves and showing ourselves more kindness and generosity, like we would grant to a friend or colleague.
The Breakdown
There may be moments in life when we are cruising along carefree, we have trust that everything is going to work out for us, and it does. However, there may be moments when something shakes us, and we may not even remember what it was. When that happens, the wheels can start to fall off and the car feels out of our control.
Welcome to the breakdown!
Spinning out of control and not sure if and when it will stop is scary but at some point it will stop.
One of the comforting things I heard when I was sharing this with a friend recently, was that a BREAKTHROUGH was coming.
Ahhhh at last, some relief to all the craziness I was experiencing.
The Breakthrough
It may sound strange but feeling like I was potentially at rock bottom and knowing that a breakthrough was about to happen was comforting. It was reassuring that something good was just around the corner.
To me in that moment was a relief, comfort and gaining some trust back.
So when you are stuck, out of control and not sure what to do next here are some of my favourite things to do:
1. Share
Share with someone trusted, a friend, colleague, therapist what you are dealing with. Sometimes we are so in our heads we cannot see clearly what is right in front of us.
Plus you never know how they may be able to support you when you need it most!
2. Envision
Forget about what has happened to date and where you are at right now. Start to get clear on what it is that you now WANT! It may no longer be what you used to want, and this is where you get to start fresh.
When you are clear on what you want, start envisioning what it would look like, feel like, smell like to have what you want and who would you need to be and become in order to have it.
3. Gratitude
Gratitude is not just something we express when things are working out for us and we are receiving everything we want. Gratitude is a practice and something to do at all times.
Im not going to lie, sometimes it may feel like a challenge to find things to be grateful for. But trust me, there is always something, even little to be grateful for.
When we can express gratitude for the amazing and not so amazing experiences we are going through it can, shift our energy and focus, increase our serotonin and dopamine levels, and hence make you happier.
So if you can relate to how I was feeling, I share this with you because who knows a breakthrough could be around the corner for you too!
Your point of view caught my eye and was very interesting. Thanks.
Why thankyou, I appreciate your kind words of support and glad you got something from it xo